Horbury Show - Information for visitors, stall holders and other vendors about the Horbury Show on the last Sunday in June every year. Details of attractions, and this year's charity.
Horbury Dental Care - Practice provides complete dental treatments including implants and cosmetic dentistry. Details of services and location.
Tithe Barn Christian Centre - An Assemblies of God church in Horbury. Information about their worship, ministry, events and facilities.
A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken "Murderers have been known to find that young girls give them more trouble than anybody else." (Jean Cocteau, Les Enfants Terribles) If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril Horbury A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood Horbury
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel Horbury "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Horbury
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre Horbury When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Horbury
God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Horbury Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) Horbury
I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) Horbury Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Horbury
Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Horbury There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') My other wife is beautiful. Horbury
Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Horbury Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Horbury
Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill Horbury "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen Horbury
Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman Horbury Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Horbury
"Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Horbury To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work Horbury
"I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Horbury If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Horbury
