Craiglands Hotel - Includes information, conferences, weddings and contact details.
Westwood Lodge - A converted grand Victorian house on the edge of Ilkley Moor. Details of conference facilities, self-catering apartments and cottages, and prices. Links to on-line booking.
Spindleberry Guest House - Bed and breakfast close to the town centre. Profile and facilities with tariff and directions.
"And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright Accommodation The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Accommodation
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Accommodation We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Accommodation
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi Accommodation You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Accommodation
Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln Accommodation "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle Accommodation
"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away,
the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. I guess I just miss my friend. "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 Accommodation I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) Accommodation
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Accommodation A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Accommodation
To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de Accommodation Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha Accommodation
The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Accommodation The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) Accommodation
A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) Accommodation You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) Accommodation
We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams Accommodation Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce Accommodation
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries Accommodation "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi Accommodation
