Lofthouse Hill Golf Club - An 18 hole course on the site of an old coal mine half way between Wakefield and Leeds. Information on the course, clubhouse, facilities, membership, competitions and greens fees.
Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde May you never leave your marriage alive. Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Lofthouse Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous Lofthouse
Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex Lofthouse It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' Lofthouse
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Lofthouse "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Lofthouse
History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Lofthouse "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Lofthouse
No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.
-- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Lofthouse We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Lofthouse
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Lofthouse "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius Lofthouse
An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem Lofthouse The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr Lofthouse
Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Lofthouse Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Lofthouse
"The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau Lofthouse "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Lofthouse
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Lofthouse "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr Lofthouse
The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President Lofthouse "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Lofthouse
