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Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn
themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington May you never leave your marriage alive. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi Otley What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) Otley
All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Otley Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress Otley
There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics a "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur Otley A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Otley
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus Otley My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett Otley
"God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Otley Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
-- King Vidor, in the 1928 film, The Crawl If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Otley
"Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole Otley It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Otley
"I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-- Kenneth H. Olson, President of DEC, Convention of the World Future Society, 1977 The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo Otley Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Otley
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Otley The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey Otley
To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Otley For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Otley
"The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill Otley For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Otley
"O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Otley We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Otley
