Otley Methodist Church - Information about the church, its services and activities. Diary of events, pictures, and a virtual tour of the building.
Bethel Evangelical Church - Information about the church, services and activities. Devotional material and contact details.
Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Religion A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Religion
Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Religion Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Religion
This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) Religion A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Religion
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) Religion The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Religion
"Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Religion When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Religion
If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pens&eactue;es, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) Religion Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan Religion
There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado "When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying Religion If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Religion
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh Religion My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill Religion
If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Religion You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Religion
"To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael Religion "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) Religion
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain Religion Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire Religion
