I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright Primary Schools "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana Primary Schools
He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French Primary Schools The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Primary Schools
"He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Primary Schools I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx Primary Schools
Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Primary Schools "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith Primary Schools
"I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Primary Schools "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Primary Schools
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Primary Schools It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer Primary Schools
In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Primary Schools The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon Primary Schools
Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley Primary Schools "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey Primary Schools
2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Primary Schools Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Primary Schools
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi Primary Schools A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi Primary Schools
Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Primary Schools The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein Primary Schools
