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If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Arts and Entertainment For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams Arts and Entertainment
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) Arts and Entertainment I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson Arts and Entertainment
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George Arts and Entertainment If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Arts and Entertainment
"And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Arts and Entertainment I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the
calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! Arts and Entertainment
If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.
-- Harper Lee Arts and Entertainment May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor Arts and Entertainment
"In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Arts and Entertainment My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson Arts and Entertainment
Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier Arts and Entertainment We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Arts and Entertainment
No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron "Crime like death is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims." (Charles Dickens, 1812-70, Oliver Twist) Arts and Entertainment Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Arts and Entertainment
"I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And What's new? Most of my wife. If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Arts and Entertainment "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Arts and Entertainment
A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger Arts and Entertainment "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Arts and Entertainment
Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) Arts and Entertainment "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Arts and Entertainment
