Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Aldbourne You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Aldbourne
"Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Aldbourne Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Aldbourne
He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Aldbourne Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) Aldbourne
Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Aldbourne "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Aldbourne
The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson Aldbourne This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Aldbourne
"I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst Aldbourne Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed Aldbourne
Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Aldbourne The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Aldbourne
Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Aldbourne Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein Aldbourne
The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
-- Anonymous Aldbourne A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Aldbourne
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Aldbourne I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Aldbourne
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau Aldbourne I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Aldbourne
