A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson Football If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan Football
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Football By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards Football
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Football Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen Football
An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Football Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) Football
Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Football "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Football
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln Football Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus Football
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl Football Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Football
The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain Football "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito Football
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Football Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) Football
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN Football "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Football
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Football If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Football
