The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Government The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing
changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Government
"If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan Government Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi Government
"I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim Government Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Government
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Government It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Government
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Government In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r Government
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Government The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Government
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain With the catching end the pleasures of the chase.
-- Abraham Lincoln blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Government Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf Government
It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce Government Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein Government
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West Government Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Government
It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Government It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous Government
"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe Government All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill Government
