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The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Urchfont This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Urchfont
I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein Urchfont The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Urchfont
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Urchfont "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley Urchfont
"The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, Urchfont Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Urchfont
Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Urchfont "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) "There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare Urchfont
"Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Urchfont A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje Urchfont
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Urchfont .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Urchfont
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf Urchfont It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers Urchfont
I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley Urchfont It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I Urchfont
"Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler Urchfont "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Urchfont
It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana Urchfont Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover Urchfont
