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As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Motoring If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Motoring
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) Motoring We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Motoring
A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the
child.
-- Anne Sullivan Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming Motoring "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca Motoring
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw Motoring In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Motoring
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl Motoring Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Motoring
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Motoring blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Motoring
A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm Motoring I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Motoring
Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel Motoring "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Motoring
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) Motoring You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Motoring
"Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Motoring Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde Motoring
They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Motoring If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) Motoring
