What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Local Authority Procurement I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell Local Authority Procurement
Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon Local Authority Procurement It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) Local Authority Procurement
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Local Authority Procurement I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier Local Authority Procurement
Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Local Authority Procurement Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Local Authority Procurement
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Local Authority Procurement I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Local Authority Procurement
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides Local Authority Procurement The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm Local Authority Procurement
Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Local Authority Procurement "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics Local Authority Procurement
Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Local Authority Procurement Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley Local Authority Procurement
Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings Local Authority Procurement My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual Local Authority Procurement
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Local Authority Procurement There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) "Think off-center." (George Carlin) Local Authority Procurement
Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Local Authority Procurement "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz Local Authority Procurement
