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Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen. -- Samuel Paterson My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. -- Ellen DeGeneres The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. -- Honore de Balzac Waste Disposal Services "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house. -- Moliere What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? -- Woody Allen Waste Disposal Services The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. -- Richard Braunstein "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. -- Winston Churchill The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. -- Jean Kerr Grow old with me! The best is yet to be! -- Robert Browning Waste Disposal Services "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house. -- Jean Ke The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Waste Disposal Services You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. -- Henry Ford "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) The soul is healed by being with children. -- Fyodor Dostoyevski The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it. -- Anonymous Waste Disposal Services "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others. -- Tryon Edwards "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Waste Disposal Services Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion. -- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon Bonaparte Waste Disposal Services Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it? -- James Thurber "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Waste Disposal Services Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. -- Henry Ford "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. -- David Letterman Waste Disposal Services Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment. -- Robert Benchley Waste Disposal Services "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. -- John Ciardi In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled. -- Paul Eldridge How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The- Box. -- Wil Shriner Waste Disposal Services If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. -- Mother Teresa ...the fog is rising. -- Emily Dickinson, dying words Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. -- Abraham Lincoln Waste Disposal Services The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church. -- G. K. Chesterton "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne. -- Robertson Davies "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Waste Disposal Services "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Don't be so humble - you are not that great. - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny is but th Waste Disposal Services Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx In the end, everything is a gag. -- Charlie Chaplin Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. -- Oliver Herford For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect. -- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. He who laughs last thinks slowest. -- Seen on a bumper sticker Waste Disposal Services Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise. -- Samuel Johnson I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used. -- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. -- Albert Einstein Waste Disposal Services Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. -- Henry Ford "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Cricket is best described as organised loafing. -- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it. -- Albert Einstein, attributed Waste Disposal Services I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I believed in liberals... -- G. K. Chesterton "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) Waste Disposal Services I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved. -- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility. -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes. -- Bob Edwards "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used. -- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words Waste Disposal Services When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now comple Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you r Some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. I guess I just miss my friend. Waste Disposal Services If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. -- Anonymous There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations. -- François de La Rouchefoucauld When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped. -- Marcel Achard Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illumines it. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. Waste Disposal Services Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did. -- Anonymous If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. -- Albert Einstein A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it. -- Albert Einstein, attributed Waste Disposal Services
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