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Prisons Links

HM Prison Service - Official site for the United Kingdom's Prison Service, includes news and information on recruitment.
HM Prisons Inspectorate for Scotland - Independent inspector of Scottish prisons, reporting to the Home Secretary. Provides information on the work of the Inspectorate and copies of its reports.
HMP Altcourse - Provides visiting, travel and support information for HMP Altcourse in Fazakerley, near Liverpool.
Prisons and Probation Ombudsman for England and Wales - Independent ombudsman who investigates the complaints of prisoners and probationers. Provides details of the services provided, an online complaint facility and publications.
HM Chief Inspector of Prisons for England and Wales - Independent body established to inspect English and Welsh prisons and make recommendations to the Home Secretary. Information on the Inspectorate and its functions, and some Inspectorate reports are available.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance. -- Henry David Thoreau To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. -- Oscar Wilde Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I love you." -- Erich Fromm Prisons A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness. -- Elsa Schiapirelli Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony. -- Oliver Herford "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Prisons The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge Never practice two vices at once. -- Tallulah Bankhead "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is plurality, death is uniformity. -- Octavio Paz "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Prisons I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry Prisons "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) The society of women is the element of good manners. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. -- Laurence J. Peter This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. -- Horace Walpole Prisons Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth. -- Benjamin Disraeli He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss." -- Anonymous "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) Prisons "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. -- Emily Dickinson Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen Prisons There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats. -- Albert Schweitzer I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability. -- Oscar Wilde "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Prisons blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not. -- Robert G. Ingersoll There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for. -- Fred Hoyle I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat. -- Michael McShane Prisons When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. -- Clarence Darrow "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) The west wasn't won on salad. -- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Prisons Facts are the enemy of truth. - Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H. L. Mencken The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones. -- W. Somerset Maugham Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first. -- Benjamin Franklin Prisons The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. - A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons. -- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Drink to me. -- Pablo Picasso, dying words Prisons "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. -- Robert Frost A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. -- H. L. Mencken I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it. -- Virginia Woolf Prisons "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way to bet. -- Damon Runyan Assassins! -- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Prisons Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives. -- John Stuart Mill blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. -- G. K. Chesterton Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition. -- Walter Prager "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Prisons To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour. -- Robert L. Stevenson No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. -- Channing Pollack The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it. -- Shirley MacLaine Prisons He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. -- John Stuart Mill "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am. -- Samuel Johnson There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's life Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea. -- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone Prisons "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush... -- Dawn French Prisons I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge. -- Edward Chilton Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. - Sherlock Holmes We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint. -- Robert Browning Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted. -- Anonymous Prisons I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street. -- Virginia Woolf "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown! Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Prisons It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it. -- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. - Ambrose Bierce Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim. -- George Santayana A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust. -- Nanette Newman, British actress "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) Prisons Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. -- Louise Hay It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up. -- Vince Lombardi I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Prisons
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