More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) Laboratories "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Laboratories
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates "Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point Laboratories When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein Laboratories
There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Laboratories Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Laboratories
That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen Laboratories War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Laboratories
"An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
- General Douglas MacArthur Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn Laboratories My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley Laboratories
Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley Laboratories All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Laboratories
"Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV Laboratories Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Laboratories
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky Laboratories If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Laboratories
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous Laboratories The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Laboratories
Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Laboratories It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Laboratories
"Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner Laboratories "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce Laboratories
