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Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Microbiology We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine Microbiology
"Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Microbiology I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Microbiology
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford Microbiology "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Microbiology
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Microbiology May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) Microbiology
You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks Microbiology "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Microbiology
A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Microbiology Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Microbiology
No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Microbiology "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Microbiology
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words Microbiology There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Microbiology
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) Microbiology Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo Microbiology
We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Microbiology Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Microbiology
"Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Microbiology When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw Microbiology
