No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) B "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart B
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward B "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone B
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) B Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw B
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright B "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw B
Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) B If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 B
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) B If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh B
Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell B History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein B
We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as
possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) B Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb B
Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.
-- Rose Kennedy If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) B May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde B
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. B We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler B
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost B Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover B
