Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings M "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers M
The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke M "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous M
We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point M Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) M
Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous M Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor M
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain M A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W M
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric M Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) M
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland M "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero M
"The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings M "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers M
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge M I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje M
To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus M Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau M
"Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain M For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 M
