My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton N I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker N
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud N As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner N
"I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi N No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) N
Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli N In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) N
Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou N The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. N
"A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) N Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf N
"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) N Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. N
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf Man and wife make one fool. N The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) N
Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates N Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz "When you have nothing to say, say nothing." (Charles Caleb Colton) N
Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de N "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses N
"Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton N "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli N
