Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Q There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Q
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France Q Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package Q
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) "Good taste is the first refuge of the non-creative. It is the last-ditch stand of the artist." (Marshall McLuhan) Q It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara Q
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous Q If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W Q
Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
"The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Q "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley Q
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Q I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) Q
My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire Q "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Q
Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) Q Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Q
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries Q "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw Q
"Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Q To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson Q
"If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx Q A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous Q
