All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz T He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham T
Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber T Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford T
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay T It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV T
With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan T There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin T
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper T "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde T
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature
intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times
worse tha >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) T A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde T
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) T Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein T
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous T It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet T
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 >From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke T Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) T
"Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) T We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous T
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) T Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) T
