All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) Z The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Z
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if
possible, speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Z "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash Z
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington Z "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi Z
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone May you never leave your marriage alive. No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Z A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne "There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Z
"We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Z I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Z
Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Z Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Z
A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) Z Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton Z
Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) Z If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw Z
"One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Z Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Z
When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Z It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Z
Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi Z "I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Z
