Kington,_Miles - Archives of his weekday humour column in the Independent newspaper.
Arnold,_Sue - Archives of her weekly column in the Independent newspaper.
The Northerner - Martin Wainwright, David Ward, Helen Carter and Heather Stewart present a round-up of the press and events in the north every Thursday in the Guardian. Free email newsletter.
Self, Will - Archives of columns from the Evening Standard.
Platell, Amanda - Archives of column from The Evening Standard.
Kettle, Martin - Commentary about national issues and politics appearing Saturday in The Guardian. Includes recent articles and full archives.
The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Columnists God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes Columnists
Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Columnists Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait Columnists
"Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland Columnists Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln Columnists
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn Marriage is a rest period between romances. Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) Columnists Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Columnists
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) Columnists You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that Columnists
What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Columnists "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) Columnists
Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Columnists Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. Columnists
They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Columnists If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around Columnists
Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) Columnists The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) Columnists
If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) "Crime like death is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims." (Charles Dickens, 1812-70, Oliver Twist) We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Columnists A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. Columnists
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain Columnists It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Columnists
