Randox Laboratories - Manufacturer of clinical chemistry environmental diagnostic kits. Details of products and prices.
Crumlin Baptist Church - Details of the history, pastor, services and pictures of the new building.
FMS Solutions - Providing IT solutions for businesses. Products, services and case studies.
Mulsanne Casinos - Provides information about mobile casino entertainment which can be brought to any venue.
Fruitvale Woodcraft - Handmade furniture, kitchens, tables and flooring. Features samples of work in each area, history of the company and general contacts.
Langford Lodge Engineering - Component and assembly supply. Company profile includes project management and technical services.
Crumlin GAA Golf Society - Includes membership information, club history and details of outings.
Tullyroe Irish Draught Stud - Includes details of the brood mares, competition stock, and young stock for sale.
Norman A. Erwin - Agricultural machinery specialists with information on the new and used products for sale.
Parcelex - Courier and express parcels company based at Belfast International Airport. Includes company profile and overview of services.
Hunter Ferguson - Manufacturers of clerical wear and decorative church materials. Online catalogue.
TACT Wildlife Centre - Talnotry Avian Care Trust. Bird and wildlife sanctuary. Information about the charity includes directions and membership details.
Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) You can pay attention to the fact, in which case you'll probably become a mathematician, or you
can ignore it, in which case you'll probably become a physicist.
-- Len Evans, professor, Northwestern Crumlin If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth Crumlin
Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) Crumlin "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin Crumlin
"One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Crumlin Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Crumlin
When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe Crumlin Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) Crumlin
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Crumlin Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Crumlin
Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown Crumlin Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Crumlin
"I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Crumlin A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Crumlin
I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Crumlin Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) Crumlin
"In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire Crumlin I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Crumlin
Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer Crumlin "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Crumlin
The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Crumlin Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost Crumlin
