A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Education Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Education
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Education If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone Education
For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Education "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN Education
Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Education The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran Education
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 Education People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Education
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) Education Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if
possible, speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Education
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx You can pay attention to the fact, in which case you'll probably become a mathematician, or you
can ignore it, in which case you'll probably become a physicist.
-- Len Evans, professor, Northwestern The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Education I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) Education
Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha Education Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Education
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Education "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Education
"I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi Education As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Education
More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Education Man and wife make one fool. There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln Education
