Lough Neagh Rescue - Voluntary service. Includes news, history, photos and information on making a call-out.
Lurgan Mail - Local weekly newspaper with news, sport and information on advertising rates.
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf Lurgan Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Never practice two vices at once.
-- Tallulah Bankhead Lurgan
Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) Lurgan The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pens&eactue;es, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) Lurgan
the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Lurgan Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. Lurgan
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw Lurgan Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) Lurgan
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) Lurgan I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Lurgan
Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Lurgan We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Lurgan
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle The wise see knowledge and action as one; they see truly.
-- Bhagava Gita Lurgan Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century Lurgan
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Lurgan "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere Lurgan
We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) Lurgan My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Lurgan
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Lurgan Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Lurgan
"There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Lurgan Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb Lurgan
