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We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard Craigantlet Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain Craigantlet
Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Craigantlet "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" Craigantlet
Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Craigantlet Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George Craigantlet
Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Craigantlet "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi Craigantlet
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Craigantlet He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) Craigantlet
"What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson Craigantlet Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Craigantlet
Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Craigantlet You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle Craigantlet
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Craigantlet They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.
-- Rose Kennedy Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken Craigantlet
Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Craigantlet "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous Craigantlet
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot Craigantlet I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland Craigantlet
"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink Craigantlet The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr Craigantlet
