We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey Education Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words Education
"A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Education "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 Education
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan Education If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) Education
All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Education Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II Education
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan Education A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Education
"Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point Education One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard Education
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Marriage is a rest period between romances. "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Education Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Education
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i Education In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood Education
Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Education "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley Education
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Education "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Education
"As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity Education Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) Education
