The Fermanagh Herald - The Fermanagh Herald online, updated every Wednesday with news and events from Enniskillen and the rest of the county.
[You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin News and Media "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik News and Media
Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes News and Media Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen News and Media
And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt News and Media The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet News and Media
These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) News and Media "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) News and Media
When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings News and Media To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln News and Media
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo News and Media I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous News and Media
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan News and Media Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus News and Media
The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling News and Media Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II News and Media
It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn News and Media All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) News and Media
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov News and Media Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) News and Media
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from News and Media An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. News and Media
