Rural Development Programme for Northern Ireland - Programme aiming to provide a range of investment opportunities for rural people between now and 2006. Overview of plans, news, contacts, and how to apply.
Rivers Agency - Statutory drainage and flood defence authority for the Province. Provides news and fact sheets.
Forest Service Northern Ireland - Includes a list of the organisation's forests, activities and facilities available to the public, annual reports and information on the natural environment.
Community Transport in Northern Ireland - Provides grant-aid for a range of public, rural and community based transport activities operated by twenty regional operators.
"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin Agriculture and Rural Affairs Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Agriculture and Rural Affairs
Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Agriculture and Rural Affairs "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein Agriculture and Rural Affairs
The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Agriculture and Rural Affairs Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson Agriculture and Rural Affairs
"Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) Agriculture and Rural Affairs "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Agriculture and Rural Affairs
The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Agriculture and Rural Affairs Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Agriculture and Rural Affairs
People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Agriculture and Rural Affairs The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Agriculture and Rural Affairs
Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Agriculture and Rural Affairs The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) Agriculture and Rural Affairs
"Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley Agriculture and Rural Affairs I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as Agriculture and Rural Affairs
Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Agriculture and Rural Affairs The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw Agriculture and Rural Affairs
A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Agriculture and Rural Affairs "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long Agriculture and Rural Affairs
"Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain Agriculture and Rural Affairs Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Agriculture and Rural Affairs
