I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Religion There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Religion
Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) Religion Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Religion
Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the
calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Religion "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) You can pay attention to the fact, in which case you'll probably become a mathematician, or you
can ignore it, in which case you'll probably become a physicist.
-- Len Evans, professor, Northwestern Religion
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol Religion We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill Religion
"Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 Religion Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Religion
"When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Religion Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf Religion
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Religion "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Religion
The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 Religion Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I Religion
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey Religion I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford Religion
Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton Religion The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire Religion
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Religion A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Religion
