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When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Computers and Internet "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Computers and Internet
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Computers and Internet If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words Computers and Internet
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Computers and Internet The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw Computers and Internet
Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Computers and Internet If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford Computers and Internet
You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Computers and Internet I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) Computers and Internet
If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Computers and Internet A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio Computers and Internet
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if
possible, speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Computers and Internet There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol Computers and Internet
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Computers and Internet blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries Computers and Internet
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Computers and Internet Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes Computers and Internet
I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Computers and Internet Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) Computers and Internet
"The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn
themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla Computers and Internet Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman Computers and Internet
