2KAD - Funny photos, wavs and jokes - A growing collection of only the funniest photos, wavs, song parodies, jokes and other humour. All free and all family safe.
Kids' Jokes - Over 2000 clean kids jokes for children of any age, lots of categories, animal jokes, knock knock jokes, and silly jokes.
Funny Text jokes - Funny text jokes from your pc to any mobile phone free.
Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Jokes blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon Jokes
"Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin Jokes You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers Jokes
I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things.
-- Oscar Hammerstein, working lyric for a piece from "The Sound of Music" Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara Jokes Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) Jokes
Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Jokes Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Jokes
"I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson Jokes If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken Jokes
My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Jokes You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Jokes
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale Jokes To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Jokes
This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley Jokes "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may Jokes
Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) Jokes Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Jokes
I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster Jokes Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Jokes
Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei Jokes The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells Jokes
