Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) College and University "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) College and University
Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) College and University Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews College and University
I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman College and University "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise College and University
I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) Man and wife make one fool. College and University If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature
intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times
worse tha College and University
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton College and University Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude College and University
Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. College and University "There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer College and University
The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) College and University Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one
should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do
not allow College and University
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) College and University "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. College and University
"Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) College and University Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) College and University
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
-- John F. Kennedy "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine College and University "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. College and University
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers College and University I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham College and University
