If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux Running I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Running
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Running The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Running
then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. Running If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Running
You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Running The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele Running
The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) Running Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Running
"Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray Running All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet Running
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Running They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Running
We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso Running There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Running
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do
its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson Running Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Running
I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W Running I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Running
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus Running Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius Running
