"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) History "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner History
"If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's History "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche History
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck "And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to History "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant History
The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson History Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler History
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) History The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell History
Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger History "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung History
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou History Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) History
Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long History "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) History
"There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla "Think off-center." (George Carlin) My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker History "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon History
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) History My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words History
"The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher History You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) History
