If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Hockey A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Hockey
Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Hockey I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb Hockey
"I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov Hockey Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Hockey
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Hockey See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Hockey
This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie Hockey "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) Hockey
Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with Hockey In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud Hockey
We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Hockey When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Hockey
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) Hockey blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards Hockey
If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) Hockey This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Hockey
"The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Hockey "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla Hockey
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West Hockey The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Hockey
