I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller Education "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner Education
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald Education If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Education
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Education I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Education
Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Education Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Education
There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Education If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch Education
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming Education A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom Education
The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Education When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Education
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) Education "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Education
"A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry Education "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster Education
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein What's new? Most of my wife. Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous Education Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, Education
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein Education The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg Education
