"The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Education Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Education
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Education A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein Education
"And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Education "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Education
The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Education In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Education
Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston Education I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Education
"Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Education I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Education
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) Education Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Education
"Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Education Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making Education
Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri Education "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Education
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Education "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Education
When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one
should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do
not allow "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Education "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood Education
