"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Recreation and Sports I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Recreation and Sports
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten Recreation and Sports Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting Recreation and Sports
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone Recreation and Sports "Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but the first salutation to the possibilities of the immense Remote, the Wild, the Watery, the Unshored..." (Herman Melville, The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) Recreation and Sports
I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Recreation and Sports History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Recreation and Sports
Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Recreation and Sports "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Recreation and Sports
There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics a "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Recreation and Sports Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Recreation and Sports In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton Recreation and Sports
"A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.
-- Harper Lee "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Recreation and Sports If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest Recreation and Sports
"If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) Recreation and Sports How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports
The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 Recreation and Sports "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
-- King Vidor, in the 1928 film, The Crawl There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century Recreation and Sports
Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Recreation and Sports Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow Recreation and Sports
