A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman Giffnock "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all Giffnock
Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone Giffnock I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Giffnock
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Giffnock An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Giffnock
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove Giffnock Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Giffnock
Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill Giffnock We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan Giffnock
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Giffnock The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Giffnock
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Giffnock A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Giffnock
"Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) Giffnock Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Giffnock
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Giffnock "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins Giffnock
A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra Giffnock That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Giffnock
"A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling Giffnock All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Giffnock
