"The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) Colleges and Universities Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Colleges and Universities
Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) Colleges and Universities Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is
thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Lo We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten Colleges and Universities
"In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige Colleges and Universities I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Colleges and Universities
Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Colleges and Universities God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 Colleges and Universities
A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Colleges and Universities "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier Colleges and Universities
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Colleges and Universities When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel Colleges and Universities
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel Colleges and Universities Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Colleges and Universities
"An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? Colleges and Universities Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Colleges and Universities
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw Colleges and Universities While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Colleges and Universities
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Colleges and Universities "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Colleges and Universities
Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Colleges and Universities Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, Colleges and Universities
