Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel Glasgow, City of Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture.
-- Aldous Huxley Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Glasgow, City of
All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual Glasgow, City of "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) Glasgow, City of
Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa "For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana Glasgow, City of You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Glasgow, City of
"To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara Glasgow, City of Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) Glasgow, City of
"Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Glasgow, City of Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg Glasgow, City of
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton Glasgow, City of "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) Glasgow, City of
It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Glasgow, City of To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford Glasgow, City of
"Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes Glasgow, City of All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek Glasgow, City of
"You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 "There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Glasgow, City of "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Glasgow, City of
"The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing Glasgow, City of If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Glasgow, City of
I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Glasgow, City of "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau Glasgow, City of
