Kelvin Business School - Offers English language and business courses. Includes course profiles, admissions and support services.
Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge Colleges and Universities I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Colleges and Universities
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius Colleges and Universities We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Colleges and Universities
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard Colleges and Universities "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Colleges and Universities
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words Colleges and Universities The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) Colleges and Universities
Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Colleges and Universities It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words Colleges and Universities
Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Colleges and Universities "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Colleges and Universities
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Colleges and Universities Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln Colleges and Universities
Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Colleges and Universities When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle Colleges and Universities
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Colleges and Universities A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Colleges and Universities
The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Colleges and Universities For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Colleges and Universities
In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) Colleges and Universities Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 Colleges and Universities
