East Dunbartonshire Council - Local authority for the northern suburbs of Glasgow: Bearsden, Bishopbriggs, Milngavie and Kirkintilloch
"A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides Government Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford Government
Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) Government They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart Government
What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Government Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Government
"We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Government Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune Government
Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Government "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Government
"Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe Government "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus Government
The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard Government If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 Government
Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown Government A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Government
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Government "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words Government
The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Government Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Government
The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley Government "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T Government
