For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Religion My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Religion
Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S Religion "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Man and wife make one fool. Religion
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Religion Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Religion
"That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Religion Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Religion
A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) Religion Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Religion
Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan Religion "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller Religion
Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Religion It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Religion
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries Religion Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Religion
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara Religion Marriage is a rest period between romances. My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Religion
"One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic "A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale Religion Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Religion
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." (Helen Keller) Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller Religion When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Religion
