Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Evanton "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) Evanton
All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Evanton Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) Evanton
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu Evanton I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Evanton
Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Evanton "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple Evanton
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde "For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Evanton "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) Evanton
The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Evanton Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale Evanton
Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Evanton "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) Evanton
"Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Evanton The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie Evanton
Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Evanton A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Evanton
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde Evanton You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Evanton
Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard Evanton Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Evanton
