MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 D "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words D
The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw D blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein D
Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker D Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw D
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern D Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous D
"You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov D "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) D
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) D Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber D
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey D "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau D
I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger D One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? D
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht D "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron D
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) D Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) D
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi D blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) D
