Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain I "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes I
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg I I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous I
"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) I Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth I
Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one I There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton I
"People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President I This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown I
A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry I The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes I
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. I "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H I
A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton I Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) I
"If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln I The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane I
blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) I "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues I
"To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht I "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. I
